Recently I received an email from Event Cinemas for a Friends and Family deal to get cheap tickets to the cinema. “Great!” I thought, $7.50 a ticket, that’s better than the usual shafting of $19 to sit in a seat covered in sticky god knows what that smells like a cat gave birth in it. But for $7.50, I’ll shut up and take it.
So I bought myself 6 tickets and decided the first movie I’d check out was Underworld: Awakening. In 3D.
Running total: $15.00
I had an email with my redeem codes to use online, little did I know I was about to have one hell of a frustrating experience. I like the odd 3D movie, but really, paying $4 each time for 3D glasses shit me, because we all know they’ve had a wipe over with some disinfectant, shoved back in a plastic bag and resold. I’m sorry cinemas, but we can tell when the glasses are covered in scratches.
During the online checkout experience, I redeemed my tickets for Underworld: Awakening. During this process I was charged with a $3 fee per ticket, what for? I’m assuming these were for the 3D glasses, OK, fair enough. So I click Next. A $2.20 booking fee? For what? I haven’t been given any seats to choose from, does this simply give me the option that if the cinema was full I’d be guaranteed a seat?
Running total: $15.00 for tickets, play $8.20 to use my own printer and paper at home. Total $23.20.
We arrived at the cinema about 20 minutes before the movie started, sounded like good timing. To the left was about 40 people lined up to get tickets, and one person on the counter selling them. She also had to serve the “Jump The Queue” section for those who’ve had to use their own printer. Which is where I headed too. I handed my paper to them reluctantly, maybe I could have kept it for recycling or as a spare should I run out of toilet paper.
The girl printed out my tickets and handed them to me followed by a “Do you want your glasses?”. I’m thinking “of course I fucking do you silly cow, I’m not going to watch this blurred across my screen”, but only to reply with “what?” and to be told “It’s another $1 per pair of glasses if you want the glasses”. “I’ve already paid for them haven’t I? what’s this $3 I was charged for online?”. She didn’t give me an answer, just said the glasses were another $1. I handed her $2 and took 2 pairs of recycled, pre-worn glasses and left for the line at the candy bar, only to be stopped in my tracks by not one, but two, massive lines of inept people paying a few dollars for a coke and a popcorn by credit card with the sign option.
Once again, the candy bar was understaffed. 2 lines, 20 people each at least and only 2 people moving at snails pace. We waited… and waited… and waited some more. As 9.20pm swung around, which also happened to be the starting time for the movie, we finally made it to the front of the counter. “2 large cokes” I bellowed, and whipped out cash to be quick. The guy at the counter moved like he was trying to make sure his head wouldn’t fall off if he walked too fast. Grabbing our cokes and heading for the cinema, lucky for us, we had one that was furthest away, meaning more walking and time wasted. 9.25pm we get some seats in the cinema, minutes before the movie starts and missing out on trailers.
3/4 the way through the movie and my eyebrows raise, ears tweak, and head snaps to the right. The sound of a crying baby. Disrespectful to the cinema code “you shut up in the movie, you shut up after the movie”. There are a few things I hate when watching a movie, people who feel the need to check their sms’s on their phones, don’t put it on silent, or answer it during the movie. Babies, and knobs that can’t chew with their mouth closed. On the latter part, it brings back memories of Cluey in the TS server flying a chopper around Operation Hastings. It makes me cringe.
Nothing like a 2 year old in an M15+ movie at 11pm crying to make my blood boil. Honestly, who throws a shoe, and who brings a kid of that age into a movie this late? Obviously giving the demographic of Arndale and surrounding suburbs, you’re probably a bogan or immigrant, in which either case there should be someone at home who can look after your kid and not disturb my movie viewing pleasure.
The following day, we went to see The Muppets, a kids movie. To which the 2 dozen kids of the cinema didn’t make a peep. Looks as though I’ll be taking more morning sessions on Saturdays to non-3D films just to avoid having to bend over and touch my toes again.
Underworld was pretty good if you were wondering.